Autostrada Italy=Jersey Turnpike...

In the US we are always taught "defensive driving" here in Italy defensive driving will get you nowhere. It is very much the opposite!!! You must be aggressive and alert at all times! The sissy stays in the far right lane the passive aggressive are in the middle lane and the flat out crazies are for the left lane. It is much like a public swimming pool, dirty and segregated.

We flew into Milano where we picked up our over sized "station wagon" that turned out to be more like a hybrid SUV (a Ford none-the-less). Being as covert as possible (AVIS knew nothing of a dog riding in the car) with our JUMBO crate for Oliver and our plethora of over sized luggage we slowly but surely managed to get our stuff from one end of the airport to the other and loaded into our Car. Along the way we broke one of the automatic sliding doors inside the airport (just in back of the AVIS counter) as our luggage was to big to fit. We paid it no mind as we could not afford to bring anymore attention to ourselves. We scurried away and didn't look back. Like a 3000 piece jigsaw puzzle we managed to barely fit all of our crap into the back with minimal room for Mr. O.

It took me a 32 point turn and a good 15 min. to even get the "car" out of the parking spot, even with Ashley outside of the car directing me. With no signs and no direction we made it out of the parking garage and on to the main road. On to Parma we go...

We entered the A1 autostrada without any hesitation... Yeah, only an hour to Parma! We cranked up the radio and I went into autopilot mode. As I keep thinking to myself "damn we are good"... Wait... signs for lake Como.?.?.? oh shit... We want to go south not north! At the next exit we pulled off and managed to get ourselves back on track. Back on the A1 going south this time. I make entering the autostrada seem like nothing, but really you only have about 50m or so to get your car from 20km/h to 100km/h making sure that you have plenty of room to enter.

As we zip along I realize that the 120km/h speed limit signs are only a mere suggestion however the sign that accompanies the speed limit sign with the minimum speed is no joke! After we are positive we are headed in the right direction and I am comfortable driving this "tank" I become more and more brave. I had told myself from the beginning "just stay in the right lane, who cares how long it takes, just be comfortable and easy". To hell with comfort... I WANNA GO FAST!!! I slowly enter the center lane and pick up my pace. Now going 140km/h I get a burst of energy. Cars still zooming by me on the left, I am content with my current position. As we look around we are disappointed with the scenery! Flat, dirty plains of rickety old abandon farms and buildings, trash everywhere and corn fields for miles. Yuck, is this really what we moved here for? Then, out of nowhere a bright yellow Lamborghini goes flying by me, followed by a Bentley, and then a Porsche 911 turbo. Oh man... Thats my cue! I shift down out of 6th gear and into 5th. Here goes nothing. Into the far left lane I go. Slowly creping up on 150 then 160 and onto 170. Yeeee-Haw!!! Here we go!

It wasn't long before I could tell Ashley was getting a bit uncomfortable with my speed so I decided to move back over to the middle lane and start looking for our exit to Parma. Good thing, because our exit was next. Ashley guided us into the city and to the vicinity of Hotel Torino. As we get closer and closer to what looks to be the "downtown" area we stop and ask for directions. We ask an older man and he hops on his bike and tells us to follow him. As we get to the downtown area we see a sign that is in Italian but appears to be a "Pedestrian Only" area. We stop and the old man waives us on. Forgetting that signs thus far have only been "suggestions"... A block or so into this "pedestrian only" area he points down this small alley that holds a sign for Hotel Torino with an arrow pointing left for hotel parking. I let Ashley out of the car to guide me into this 6' wide alley. I felt like I was back in Milan trying to "unpark" the car. After about 4 or 5 min. an Asian man comes running out of the hotel to park this bitch for me! Thank God!!!